Simultaneously she worried about the future of their relationship and kept falling more and more in love with him. She indeed did love him, and was head over heels for him. It made her sick, she cared for him and was all lovey dovey for him it was so nauseating. But over time she became increasingly concerned about the future of their relationship. Over the past two years he had moved around from L.A. to London to France. She was realizing that this was indeed the life of a footballer. And she felt as soon as she got comfortable in one place they seemed to pack up and move him to another place. It was the life he lived. She had to be supportive of him because she obviously couldnt change that about his occupation it came with the territory. But she kept asking herself, was that the life she wanted. She loved him to death but was she ready to follow him around everywhere he went. It took devotion and committment and she didn’t like the committment to be one sided. She had such a good time with him though, and he was really committed as well it seemed, she had already met his family, and he was really sweet and caring towards her. They did lots of couple things so she really didnt have to question his committment. But she didn’t like to just follow him around like that. It made her feel like a lapdog. She loved him and in her head she was weighing if it was worth it. It totally was if he was her mr. right, but thats what she was questioning. She had her own career going really good for her. She was willing to put that on hold for him, she just didnt want to make the wrong choice. So she was very tentative around him. Things were starting to get serious, she really needed to have a straight up no bullshit talk with him. He was in Paris at the moment and she wasn’t too far filming a movie in London, but they were usually away from each other for long periods of time. When he was in L.A. they lived with each other, saw each other everyday, had sex sometimes three, four times a day. And she went from that, to not seeing him for months. She really did miss him, and she hoped he missed her as well.
October 11, 2010
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